Control

I recently discovered that I have control issues.  If you met me, I'm guessing you wouldn't think I was a control freak.  But  I kind of am.  I have a really hard time when things are beyond my control.  I feel all knotted up inside, like I can't breathe.  I've always been like this, but it's just recently been pointed out that it's a control thing.

With that said, I need to focus on what I can control;  how I handle situations. (Was that the appropriate use of a ; ? Should how be capitalized?  I need an editor. Or a 3rd grade teacher.)  I have decided I will survive these out of my control situations with courage, humor and grace.

• I will survive Pnut's crazy school/activity schedule, as well as her homework tantrums.  
• I will survive Little Dude's non-existent attention span.
• I will survive Brian's 100 hour work weeks. I hope he can also survive.
• I will survive physical therapy and get myself ready for Boise. Did I mention I registered?  I did.
• I will survive the lovely Seattle winter, although I'm not entirely sure how.

I am well aware that survive is a pretty strong word in relation to the things I mentioned, but when you're in the middle of it, it feels like survival.  When Pnut is on the floor crying because math is so boring. When Reilly needs to be told 100 times to put his shoes on. When I have to deal with all of this alone because Brian is always at work.  When all these things pile up, it feels like I'm trying to survive.

I have no control over other people's actions (although I REALLY wish I did), but I do have control over mine.  That's what I need to focus on.