Betrayed!!

I have been betrayed by my own body.  And less than a week before my birthday.  Nothing says "You're getting old" like your body giving out on you.

Before I go on, I will say this-I know there are people out there with real problems.  I have a wonderful family, a great house, food in my refrigerator and I'm healthy (more or less) I really shouldn't complain.

Now that I've got that out of the way....

I am REALLY angry.  I would be less upset if I had an accident or a fall or something that caused an injury.  I am injured because my body broke down doing what millions of people do everyday.

I was just starting to enjoy running.  I looked forward to it.  And I really liked my long runs.  This was the only time in the week I was alone, with no responsibilities.  For 90 minutes it was just me and the road.  I wasn't mommy, I was me.  It was nice.  I'm upset with the prospect of losing that time.  I could bike or swim but my bike is in a box right now and swimming indoors isn't the same feeling as being outside.

I realize I need to make a choice.  I can sit at home and be sad and feel sorry for myself or I can get off my butt and do something.  I think I will sit on my butt for one more day.  Tomorrow I will do something.  Maybe I'll figure out how to put my bike together, take a cycle class (if they are not full), swim, I could get really brave and try yoga. Whatever it is, I have to do something.  I feel myself headed down a slippery slope.  I'm depressed and angry.

I have an appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor on Wednesday.   I hope he will at least give me an idea of what I'm up against.

For now, I'm going to hide under the covers and read a book.  Tomorrow is a new day.  My last day of being 36.  I should end it with a bang.  Let me know if you have any ideas.