Saltwater

I had an incredibly difficult morning last Saturday.  I'm not even sure what started it.  Before I knew it, Pnut and I were in an epic battle.  Looking back, it wasn't our worst; it was just at the end of a few difficult weeks.  I am exhausted from the constant battles.  At one point we were cuddled up in her bed, both of us crying.

I decided I needed to get out. I had to go for a run.  I was exhausted but my mind was still racing.  I needed to shut it off.  I got dressed and took off.

I burst into tears at the end of my driveway.  I was running and crying.  This is not easy.  I ran faster, still crying.  I told myself there has to be a pace at which you can't run and cry.  I needed to find that pace.  I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to think.  I ran faster and faster.  I ended up a mile from my house, on the beach, 7:10 minutes later.  7:10!  I've never ran a mile in 7 minutes and 10 seconds.  Granted it was only one, but still faster than I'd ever ran.  I felt good.  Physically and mentally exhausted. I sat, staring at the beach, for a few minutes.  I tried to keep my head clear.

I finally had to keep going.  I ran (not nearly as fast) a couple more miles and headed home.  Hopeful the tears, sweat, and the beautiful Sound were enough to clear my head, to deal with whatever was next.  

I'd like to say that 3 mile run turned the day around.  It didn't.  But it did give me enough strength and clarity to handle what was thrown at me.