2 Weeks Left!!

Two weeks from right now, I'll (hopefully) be on the run in Boise.  I'm finally starting to get excited.  I'm still nervous and wonder if I've done enough to prepare.  I try to look back at what I did last year and compare. I'm pretty sure I didn't feel totally prepared last year either.

I am confident I can finish the race.  I'm confident I can improve on last year.  Is there really anything else I need to do?  I have time goals in my head.  Goals that are probably pipe dreams, but goals none the less.

Here is what I'm hoping for.  Again, a little pie in the sky, but worth trying for.

Swim-38:00 (2 minutes faster than last year)
Bike-3:25:00 (18 minutes faster than last year)
Run-2:15:00 (25 minutes faster than last year)

That would get me around a 6:20:00 race.  I'd be SUPER happy with that.  Last year my nutrition (or lack of nutrition) killed me.  I feel like I'm on top of it this year.  I've learned my lesson after the bag of goo from last year.

This is what happens when you leave chocolate protein bars on your bike for a few hours.

Now that my super secret goals are out there for everyone to see, I'm reminded of this quote.  I'm thinking about taping it to my bike :)

Swim/Bike/Run for Fun

On Saturday I wrote this.  A little pity party I was having for myself.  Well, a couple days later and not much has changed.  Yesterday I was miserable.  I was in one of those moods where at any other time, a run (or bike or swim) would have made me feel better.  But I couldn't do it.  The things I used to go to for stress relief have become stressful.  They have become chores.

Tomorrow I have a 3.5 hour bike.  Most people (who like to bike) would be stoked if they could ride 3 hours on a Tuesday morning.  I should be stoked.  My friend Lindsay agreed to ride with me for part of it.  A bike ride with a friend should be exciting!  I shouldn't be dreading it.  But I am.  I'm worried about my tired legs.  I'm worried it will be cold.  Worried it will rain.....blah blah blah.

I know this is to be expected.  People get tired.  Training becomes a chore.  I'm going to try my best to change my attitude about this ride.  I'm going to focus on the good.

• I am able to ride my bike when most people are working.  
• I have the physical ability to ride my bike 3.5 hours.  
• I have a friend to ride with.  
• There is only a 30% chance of rain.  
• This is my last long ride until Boise.
• It's a chance for an adventure!

Panic and Doubt

Boise is 5 weeks from today.  At this very moment, I don't even want to race.  I'm so tired and emotionally drained.  This week and next week are my biggest training weeks.  I only have 2 more workouts this week, so really it's just one more week.  But I'm exhausted.  I don't know why I'm even doing this.  I want to curl up and cry.

Pnut hasn't slept in over 3 weeks.  Little Dude has been in my bed or needed me to sleep with him for what seems like forever.  Brian is crazy busy with work.  Why aren't I focusing on these things?  Why am I spending 12 hours a week doing things that leave me with nothing left for my family?  Why didn't I spend 3 and a half hours riding my bike instead of doing laundry or vacuuming the floors?  Maybe if I took a nap, I'd be able to deal with the kids up all night.

I realize I'm being a bit dramatic.  I know this is normal(ish).  Last May I wrote this post.  I guess this is just what happens 5 weeks out.  On the bright side, I'm not injured.  Laundry, dirty floors, and needy kids will still be here in June.  I've come this far.  I know I will keep going.