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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Doubt, Fear, Commitment

Thirty one days till Boise and I haven't done anything since Sunday.  My hamstrings and inner thighs feel like the are big knots.  I'm afraid to train and get injured, and I'm afraid not to train and be unprepared.  I feel like a failure.  Like a fraud.  Like the good weeks I've had aren't real. I don't want to do anything.

I'm sure some of this is coming from exhaustion.  I haven't slept well the last few nights. I was up every 2-3 hours last night, giving Little Dude his pain meds.  Pnut is hell bent on making me feel horrible, because I'm paying so much attention to Little Dude.  Brian's not feeling well.  Things are falling apart this week, and I'm not feeling strong enough to deal with it.

I know this is just a down moment.  We all have them.  Feelings of doubt are normal.  Exhaustion is normal.  Being uncomfortable is normal.  Trying to somehow use a foam roller on your inner thigh is normal (isn't it?).

In the end, I'll suck it up and deal with it, because I'm committed.   Right?


4 comments:

  1. You got this! Take a deep breath and try not to be so hard on yourself (easier said than done..trust me, I know). Your body is telling you to rest - and that's ok. Don't force it when it doesn't want to be forced. Take time, be with your family, re-group and use this week as recovery. Come back next week feeling ready to tackle the last few weeks and kick @$$ at the race!
    You are doing great - keep smiling!!

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  2. Listen to your friend Erika

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  3. Give yourself a few days. Before you know it you'll be saying "Put me back in, coach (Erika!)"

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