Hibernation

It is April 25th and it's 55 degrees and raining.  The pollen is so ridiculous I might never be able to go outside or open a window.  My nose is running, I have a sinus headache and a cough that has kept me up the last 2 nights.  Not to mention a, maybe, stress fracture that has been lingering for the last 10 weeks.  I would like to go into hibernation.

I found this photo on The Gracious Pantry Facebook page.  It is perfect for me today.

I feel like crap today.  I'm tired and it's hard to breathe.  The Seattle Rock n Roll Half is 59 days away.  Lake Stevens 70.3 is 81 days away.  I really want to race (and do well) in both of these events.  Hibernating probably won't help.  I don't feel good, but I have work to do. 

I should probably do some laundry and vacuum as well...

I Am Who I Am

I have spent the last few months beating myself up over who I am not.  Spent a lot of time and energy trying to be someone I am not.  Here is a short list of things I am not:

• Organized
• A good house keeper
• A crafty person
• Fast

I'm certain there are more, but you get the point.

Now, as a stay at home mom, organized and house keeper are pretty important. I often think of them as job requirements.  I have spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to get better.  I have read countless blogs and bought more day planners and menu planners than you can imagine. I felt like I needed to be this person in order to be a good mom and wife.  I have made some progress, but I'm still me.  

As far as "crafty", this is a nice thing to be when you have kids.  Kids love crafts.  I try, but I am not good.

I love running and cycling.  I love triathlons.  I would LOVE to be fast. I am not.

I need to be ok with these short comings.  I need to stop thinking of them as short comings.  I'm not saying I'm going to give up.  I will always keep trying.  I am simply going to embrace the person that I am.  I'm going to be the best ME that I can be.  I am going to stop comparing myself to others.  I have to work with what I've got.

I am a good mom.  Pnut and Little Dude don't care that I'm a sucky artist.  They don't care that the morning's Cheerios are still on the floor at bedtime.  I'm certain they enjoy having pancakes for dinner, when I forget to take the "planned" meal out of the freezer.

I might not be the fastest person on the course, but I have gotten faster with every season.  I should be proud of that.  I am proud of that.

I will never be the next Martha Stewart.  I will never be a professional athlete.  I WILL be the best I can be. And I WILL be proud of that.

Why We're Here

When Brian took the job at Amazon, we knew it was going to be a difficult adjustment.  Moving 2000 miles from"home" isn't easy. We knew the first 6 months to a year would be tough.  There were times when it was tougher and scarier than I could have imagined.  There were days when Brian and I questioned if we made the right decision.

Today was not one of those days. Today is the reason we are here.  We had a wonderful morning of peanut butter chocolate chip pancakes (they were leftovers and really only the kids ate them, but you get the picture) and went out for a hike.  It was so much fun.  We hiked 1.5 miles down to a beautiful beach.  We spent some time skipping rocks and looking for shells.  We ate trail mix and apples. It was perfect.  Did I mention the sun was out?  It was beautiful.  The hike back was a challenge for Little Dude, but Pnut walked the whole way, with no little complaining.

And that was all before noon!

Since then...I went for a relatively pain free run/walk and Brian is at one of the 500 skate parks in the area.

Life is good.

Here are some pictures from the hike. And yes, it is impossible to get Little Dude to look at the camera.

Who knew whales were so smart?

Pnut is a pretty good picture taker!

Made it to the top of a hill.

Plan B

I did not have a Plan B today.  My plan A was to take Pnut to school, go to a spin class and get in a quick swim. Instead, I ended up at the doctor, certain that Little Dude had broken my toe.  He fell, and his knee, and his 30 pounds, landed on my toe.

An hour, 3 xrays, and a few "I can't believe you're letting your son do that" looks later and I found out it was not broken.  I was shocked and thrilled.   The doctor said I should ice and elevate my foot.  This seems like a lot of effort for a little toe.

I hobbled to the car and sat there, wondering what to do.  Broken toe or not, putting bike shoes shoes on would REALLY hurt. I spent the next hour or so pissed off that my day was not going as planned.  I wondered around, wondering what to do.  How did I get in such a funk?  My toe hurt and I spent an unexpected hour at the doctor's office. Was it really that big of a deal?  No.

I'm about to put Little Dude down for a nap.  I could use this time to be pissed off my day hasn't gone as planned or come up with Plan B.  Only one of these options would be productive.

I can't let an unexpected morning ruin my whole day.  I need to move on to Plan B.  I have to be flexible.  This will not be the last time Plan A gets screwed up.

What do you do when Plan A doesn't work?

Short Cuts

There are no short cuts!  I know this, yet I still look for them.

I am a slow cyclist.  I hate this.   I hate it! Hate it! Hate it!  Last year I asked someone how I could get faster.  Their response "Ride more."  What did I do?  Bought a kick ass bike.  I have to be faster with a faster bike, right?  Well...yes, but not fast enough.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to be slow on a kick ass bike?  Embarrassing.  Short cuts don't work.  

My goal this season is to be faster.  How am I going to do that?  I'm not sure.  Pretty sure I'll ride more.  I can't afford a faster bike.

If you have any non-shortcut ways to bike faster, I'd love to hear them.

It's Like Riding a Bike

I finally got back on my bike today!!  I had been stressing about where to ride, what roads were safe....all that stuff.  I decided just to hit the trail near Pnut and Little Dude's school. So I dropped them off and headed to the trail.
I'm so glad I did.

Here are a few lessons learned from my ride this morning.

• I LOVE my bike!

• Seattle is an amazing place. The bike trails are awesome. They go on forever. 

• Always bring tissues. I'm not a snot rocket fan and I'm getting over the flu. I had to blow my nose the whole ride. 
• Seaplanes are awesome.  I'd never get in one, but I enjoy seeing them take off and land.

• Always wear sunglasses. Dirt and bugs in your eyes suck.
• I DESPERATELY need a new saddle. I won't go into details, but it was uncomfortable. 
• I am not good at making sharp turns. Things almost got ugly. 
• Being in aerobars is not as scary if cars aren't whizzing by you.
• Seattle is doing strange things to the trees. Why are they florescent purple?

• I love my children, but alone time is nice.  Wondering if I can get Little Dude in school 5 days a week :)

Finally got to wear my Tough Chik top.  I had a jacket on during my ride. Didn't want to scare people with my toughness.

All in all, a great ride.  16ish miles. I averaged 15 mph.  Not breaking any speed records but I had so much fun.  

Sunshine!!

It might not look like much, for those of you living in warm, sunny places....but for me, this is beautiful! 60 degrees!!!  Oh how I have been waiting for warm weather.  Sure, there are clouds and rain in there, but I'll take it.  Tomorrow I am fighting some fears and getting back out on my bike.
I'm going to drop Pnut and Little Dude off at school and I'm hitting the Burke Gillman trail.  I'm excited and nervous.  Hoping to get in 25 miles.  I'll let you know how it goes.