In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

This time last month I had high hopes. February hadn't gone as planned.  I knew March was going to be my month.  It was my birthday month, March Madness, St Patrick's day and the first race of the season.  What could be better?  The first 8 days were good.  Things took a turn on day 9.  I had been having some shin pain when I ran, but on March 9th, it hurt just to walk.  March was not going to be my month.

March brought a stress fracture, the realization that I'm middle aged, a brief mid-life crisis in which I chopped off my hair and dyed it red, and a DNS for the first race of the season.  Pretty lame.

I am in PT now and getting Active Release for my hip.  I'm hoping this will help the rest of the season.  I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and I'm excited to get back out there.  I can start running next week (or maybe this weekend if this horrible cold goes away).

My goals for the month were:

Run 100 miles-Not even close
Run the Mercer Island Half under 2:05-Nope
Eat better and lose 4 pounds-I started around 136 and was 133 at the dr yesterday.  I'm happy with that.  My eating hasn't been perfect, but it has been better.

I'm looking forward to April.  It's going to be a good month, I can feel it.

Home

I am having a rough morning.  My mom went home today and I'm starting to feel homesick.  I was fine until I dropped the kids off at school.  Then I felt panicky and alone.  And very far from home.

I pulled myself together and stopped hyperventilating, but I still have an uneasy feeling.  I love my house.  I love the kid's school.  Brian has a great job.  But this is not home...yet.  In my head, Baltimore is still home.  I even watched an O's spring training game last night :)

I don't know if we will be here forever.  We could stay for 20 years, we could leave in 5.    Either way, I need to make Seattle my home.  I need to get involved, make friends, and take advantage of all the wonderful things this place has to offer.

I know this will not happen over night.  This tight feeling in my chest will stay for awhile longer.  I will miss my friends, family, and the comfort of Baltimore.  But I will make the most of this amazing opportunity I have been given.

Insanity and Leeches

I've heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  If this is true, my parenting style could be considered insane.  After 5 years of being a mom, I have learned a few things.  One thing I know, 11:30am and 4:30pm are horrible times to run errands with the kids.  They are tired and hungry.  But TWICE this week, I have made Little Dude go shopping at 11:30.  And we have both paid for it.  On the bright side, my bedroom is pretty much finished and I LOVE it!

Vase and lamp i HAD to get at 11:30

Another bit of insanity, crafts or activities with the kids.  Pnut had the day off today, so I planned to do all kinds of fun things.  In my head (which is not reality) they would both play nicely and love everything we did and thank me and tell me how wonderful I am.  Here's how it really went.  I spent 2 hours getting the crafts ready, they spent 3 minutes on each thing then asked for something else.  Then asked for lunch, then snacks, then tv, then for more crafts.....It was never ending.  And not one thank you.  Certainly not a "Wow, you're such a great mom."  They are energy sucking leeches.  On the subject of leeches, when I was at the dr earlier this week he kept asking me about breast feeding.  Turns out the little leeches darlings sucked the calcium out of my bones!  And not one thank you.  

We really did have fun today.  It was exhausting but they had fun.  And I love when they are happy! Here is a photo recap of the day.  

Did I mention I got by bike back?  Picked it up at 11:30 :) And yes, that is blue sky!

Back together again

Colored ice cubes

Building a tower

Painting

Pasta art

Princess story book

Painting with shaving cream

Now, I guess they are going to want dinner....

Kick In The Pants

I went to a sports medicine doctor this morning.  Little Dude came with me.  He only has school on Monday's and Tuesday's.  He was awesome.  Thank goodness for ipads!

As for the doctor visit, it sucked.  The doctor seemed like he knew what he was talking about.  Asked good questions, pushed on the spot on my leg that made me want to cry, typical dr stuff.  He said "You have a stress fracture. Let's get an xray to see if it shows up."  It didn't show up. I thought this was good news.  He said "Still certain you have a stress fracture."  He offered to do a bone scan if I wanted proof. With LD there, this didn't seem like the best course of action.  Fracture or shin splints...does it really matter?  Either way I can't run.

Dr said no running for 3 more weeks.  (So much for the Mercer Island Half).  If I'm pain free in 3 weeks I can start running again.  He said I should take 4-6 weeks to build my mileage back up.  For those counting, that will be the beginning of May.  The Rock n Roll Half is June 23rd.  I'm not sure exactly what that means.  I guess if I'm back up to running 11 miles early in May, that would be good.

The Dr also told me to take calcium and vitamin D supplements.  Here in the Pacific Northwest, the sun doesn't shine enough for you to get vitamin D naturally.  THEN he proceeded to tell me the dosage of vitamins  for a middle aged women!  WHAT!?!  When did that happen?  Someone really should have told me.  I told the doc his comment was worse than the stress fracture.  He laughed and tried to backtrack.  Then he looked at my chart and said "yep, 37....but...I'd love to be middle aged again..." blah blah blah.  Damage was done.  I'm old and broken.  That's what I heard.

Will being angry help heal a stress fracture?  I'm no doctor, but I doubt it.  Being angry will do nothing useful.  So, after LD's nap we are headed for the bike shop.  They will have my beautiful bike, chitty chitty bang bang, (thanks for the name Geoff) ready by Friday.

I will take as many spin class as I can and get myself back in the pool.  I will enjoy these 3 weeks off from running and I will not be angry anymore. Well, I'll try my best.

Betrayed!!

I have been betrayed by my own body.  And less than a week before my birthday.  Nothing says "You're getting old" like your body giving out on you.

Before I go on, I will say this-I know there are people out there with real problems.  I have a wonderful family, a great house, food in my refrigerator and I'm healthy (more or less) I really shouldn't complain.

Now that I've got that out of the way....

I am REALLY angry.  I would be less upset if I had an accident or a fall or something that caused an injury.  I am injured because my body broke down doing what millions of people do everyday.

I was just starting to enjoy running.  I looked forward to it.  And I really liked my long runs.  This was the only time in the week I was alone, with no responsibilities.  For 90 minutes it was just me and the road.  I wasn't mommy, I was me.  It was nice.  I'm upset with the prospect of losing that time.  I could bike or swim but my bike is in a box right now and swimming indoors isn't the same feeling as being outside.

I realize I need to make a choice.  I can sit at home and be sad and feel sorry for myself or I can get off my butt and do something.  I think I will sit on my butt for one more day.  Tomorrow I will do something.  Maybe I'll figure out how to put my bike together, take a cycle class (if they are not full), swim, I could get really brave and try yoga. Whatever it is, I have to do something.  I feel myself headed down a slippery slope.  I'm depressed and angry.

I have an appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor on Wednesday.   I hope he will at least give me an idea of what I'm up against.

For now, I'm going to hide under the covers and read a book.  Tomorrow is a new day.  My last day of being 36.  I should end it with a bang.  Let me know if you have any ideas.

 

Good To Go....I Think

Back from the doctor.  He doesn't think it's a stress fracture.  He did not take an xray or suggest an MRI.  I'm a bit worried.  I've never seen this guy before.  And he's not an orthopedist.  Does he know what he's talking about?  He suggested taking an anti inflammatory for 3 days and trying to run on flat ground, not hills.  Easier said than done around here.  He said not running until I was pain free would be the best option but he didn't seem to think running would cause any more damage.  This is where I'm concerned.  I'm super excited he said I could run.  But what if he's wrong??  I've always heard shin splints can turn into stress fractures.  But....I've never gone to medical school. I'm assuming this guy did, I didn't check.  I'm not sure what to do.

One more good thing about the doctor visit...I am an inch taller than I thought (So much taller than you, Kelly!) and I've lost 3 pounds since I last checked :)  To celebrate (not really)  Brian and I took Little Dude out to lunch.  I ate a 3 pound burger.

Right now I'm going to take a nap.  Pnut had a nightmare last night so I spent a good part of the early morning hours in her twin bed.

All Good Things Must End

After a month or so of feeling good running and feeling good about my training, I'm hurt.  I'm so upset.  Not sure exactly what is going on.  Shin splints, stress fractures?  Who knows. All I know is it hurts to walk and I'm angry about it.  I have a doctor's anointment tomorrow.  A doctor I've never been seen before.  I am crossing my fingers for good news but I'm not counting on it.

What have I been up to the last 2 non-running days?  Sulking and eating like crap.  Sure, I could find my suit and go for a swim.  I could put the chocolate chip scone down and grab an apple.  But I'm feeling sorry for myself.  I love to swim but I'm pissed off that I "have to" swim because I can't run.

I'm going to allow myself to wallow for another day.  Well, 22 more hours. Once I see the doctor and find out what's going on, I'll get myself together.  I'm no doctor but I'm guessing the Mercer Island Half is a no go.  As much as I want to run it, I think it would be a bad move. I don't want to make things worse and mess up the whole race season.  I could be getting ahead of myself. I'll wait to see what the doctor says.

Until then, I'm going to curl up on the sofa with Little Dude, read books and eat chocolate covered berries.  It's dark chocolate. That's got to count for something, right?

Mommy Snuggles

Snuggles are one of my favorite things.  I could snuggle Pnut and Little Dude all day.  But by bedtime, I'm ready for them to go to bed.  We read books and snuggle, then it's time for them to sleep.  Last night Pnut needed extra snuggles.  About an hour after I put her to bed, I heard her at the top of the stairs asking for more.  I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen and trying to get ready for the next day.  I really wanted to finish my chores and plop myself down on the sofa.  As much as I love snuggles, I was a little disappointed they were interrupting my evening. But I went up and climbed in bed with Pnut.  As I was laying there I asked myself "Why do my kids need this so much?"  "What is so wonderful about snuggling with mom?"

It took me 5 seconds to think back to a time when I needed my mom's snuggles.  I was a very anxious kid.  So much so it was hard for me to get through my day without freaking out.  To help me, my mom woke up much earlier than she needed to, so we could have time to snuggle on the sofa before she went to work and I went to school.  I needed this.  I'm guessing there were many days she would have liked to have that extra time to sleep, or have a quiet cup of coffee by herself.  She gave up her alone time to comfort me.  I remember feeling so peaceful with her.  Sometimes I could hardly enjoy it because I was so worried it would end too soon.

I snuggled with Pnut until she fell asleep.  I cried thinking about much I needed my mom to help me feel relaxed and at peace, when I was a little girl.  I'm crying as I write this.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's realizing how powerful mom's love is.  Realizing how much my children need me; not just to make their dinner and wash their clothes, but to help them feel safe.

Give you kids an extra snuggle or call your mom and tell her how much you love her!

March Goals

On to March.  One of my favorite months.  Not just because it's my birthday month.  It's the beginning of spring.  As I look outside at the snowy/sleety/rainy weather, I'm ready to be one step closer to summer.

I'm going to limit my March goals.  I tend to have too many. I can't keep track or keep up with all of them.
So here's what I have:

• Get all my training miles in.  The Mercer Island Half is 3/25.   I have 96 miles to run between the 1st and the 25th.  I'm going to say 100 miles for March.  
• Run the Mercer Island Half in less than 2:05.  I think this is doable but it will be a PR by a lot. My fastest so far is 2:17.
• EAT BETTER!! This is a bit more complicated than the first two.  I'm trying to figure out exactly what this means.  I would really like to lose a few pounds (I know, who wouldn't).  I say 10 pounds.  I'm not stuck on the number.  If I feel better after losing 6 pounds, I'll stop there.  Clearly I'm not losing 10 pounds in March, but I'd like to get a good start.  I'm hoping for 4 pounds in March.  

For the record, I haven't been to Mc Donalds in probably 8 years, but you get the point.  I might run 100 miles in a month but if I don't change my eating, it's not going to be enough.

I think instead of talking about all the things I'm NOT going to eat, I'm going to focus on what I will eat.  

• I will eat more fish
• I will eat more vegetables
• I will eat more fruit
• I will drink more water.

In my head I have a list of DO NOT eats, but I'm going to try not to focus on them.  I think I get overwhelmed if I spend all my time worrying about what I can't have.

So there you have it.  100 miles in March, a sub 2:05 half and -4 pounds.  Good thing March has 31 days!

February goals....not pretty

So....February is gone.  Even with the extra day, I can't believe how quickly it went by.  We spent the whole month in our new house.  It has been wonderful.  Still not totally together, but we are loving it.

I was looking back through my posts this month and was reminded of my goals. If you want to read the posts, exerciser-or-athlete and goals-part 1 have my goals.  In case you don't want to, here they are:

I'd like to say it went well.  It did not. 

• I ran 55 miles, not 100.  I will say that I picked up the pace the last 2 weeks.  I'm feeling good about it.  I am certain I will get back on track in March.
• Kids schedule-Not bad.  Here is what I have for Pnut.  It's more of a reminder of things to do, not really a schedule.  She seems to be enjoying it and is sticking to it.  

• Rules and consequences-FAIL. Have not even attempted. 
• Have at least 5 real dinners a week-I'm not even sure about this.  We have had dinners, but I can't say I'm proud of them.  There has been too much junk and not enough vegetables.
• Eat like an athlete- See above bullet point.  Not good.
• Train like an athlete-I've been doing better about this. The first couple weeks of the month weren't great.  The last 2 have been much better.
• Sleep like an athlete- I'd say 50/50.  I'm in bed by 9 some nights, up watching Cobert other nights.  I'm still working on it.

I'm going to cut myself some slack this month.  We did move into a new house.  There was a lot going on.  My priority was getting the house in order and making sure everyone was comfortable here.   With the exception of the guestroom, office and dining room, things are pretty good.

That's how February went.  On to March!