My family was given a fabulous chance and we took it. It is changing our lives but I'm still resisting the change. I think the rest of the family jumped in with both feet. Brian didn't have much of a choice; he dove into his job. The kids are loving school and all the playgrounds in our neighborhood. They couldn't be happier.
I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time. I'm holding on to the old stuff. Comparing everything to "home".
I've been wallowing in my sadness the last few days. I am not the person I want to be. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy life. I want to make the most of everyday.
So, what do I need to do to become who I want to be? Not 100% sure about that. I know I need to embrace the changes in my life. My New Year's goal was to push through my fears. I haven't been doing that. I've made a list of things that might help. Here's what I've come up with so far. Feel free to add to my list.
- Keep kitchen and bedroom clean- I know this sounds like a strange thing to add to a list of "how to be happy". The clutter in my room and the kitchen sucks the life out of me. I hate it.
- Be active everyday. Even if it's just a 30 min run, I need to do something. I get depressed without the endorphins.
- Make a serious effort to train with a group. There are at least 2 groups that I know of who have weekly workouts. I need to stop making excuses and do it.
- Play with the kids. I have gotten in a habit of telling them to play while I do housework.
- Do something new every week. See what our new city has to offer.
- Plan date nights with Brian. He has been working 60 hours a week. I miss him.
That's all I've got for now.
I hope my next post is about all the fun I've been having!