Hibernation

It is April 25th and it's 55 degrees and raining.  The pollen is so ridiculous I might never be able to go outside or open a window.  My nose is running, I have a sinus headache and a cough that has kept me up the last 2 nights.  Not to mention a, maybe, stress fracture that has been lingering for the last 10 weeks.  I would like to go into hibernation.

I found this photo on The Gracious Pantry Facebook page.  It is perfect for me today.

I feel like crap today.  I'm tired and it's hard to breathe.  The Seattle Rock n Roll Half is 59 days away.  Lake Stevens 70.3 is 81 days away.  I really want to race (and do well) in both of these events.  Hibernating probably won't help.  I don't feel good, but I have work to do. 

I should probably do some laundry and vacuum as well...

I Am Who I Am

I have spent the last few months beating myself up over who I am not.  Spent a lot of time and energy trying to be someone I am not.  Here is a short list of things I am not:

• Organized
• A good house keeper
• A crafty person
• Fast

I'm certain there are more, but you get the point.

Now, as a stay at home mom, organized and house keeper are pretty important. I often think of them as job requirements.  I have spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to get better.  I have read countless blogs and bought more day planners and menu planners than you can imagine. I felt like I needed to be this person in order to be a good mom and wife.  I have made some progress, but I'm still me.  

As far as "crafty", this is a nice thing to be when you have kids.  Kids love crafts.  I try, but I am not good.

I love running and cycling.  I love triathlons.  I would LOVE to be fast. I am not.

I need to be ok with these short comings.  I need to stop thinking of them as short comings.  I'm not saying I'm going to give up.  I will always keep trying.  I am simply going to embrace the person that I am.  I'm going to be the best ME that I can be.  I am going to stop comparing myself to others.  I have to work with what I've got.

I am a good mom.  Pnut and Little Dude don't care that I'm a sucky artist.  They don't care that the morning's Cheerios are still on the floor at bedtime.  I'm certain they enjoy having pancakes for dinner, when I forget to take the "planned" meal out of the freezer.

I might not be the fastest person on the course, but I have gotten faster with every season.  I should be proud of that.  I am proud of that.

I will never be the next Martha Stewart.  I will never be a professional athlete.  I WILL be the best I can be. And I WILL be proud of that.

Why We're Here

When Brian took the job at Amazon, we knew it was going to be a difficult adjustment.  Moving 2000 miles from"home" isn't easy. We knew the first 6 months to a year would be tough.  There were times when it was tougher and scarier than I could have imagined.  There were days when Brian and I questioned if we made the right decision.

Today was not one of those days. Today is the reason we are here.  We had a wonderful morning of peanut butter chocolate chip pancakes (they were leftovers and really only the kids ate them, but you get the picture) and went out for a hike.  It was so much fun.  We hiked 1.5 miles down to a beautiful beach.  We spent some time skipping rocks and looking for shells.  We ate trail mix and apples. It was perfect.  Did I mention the sun was out?  It was beautiful.  The hike back was a challenge for Little Dude, but Pnut walked the whole way, with no little complaining.

And that was all before noon!

Since then...I went for a relatively pain free run/walk and Brian is at one of the 500 skate parks in the area.

Life is good.

Here are some pictures from the hike. And yes, it is impossible to get Little Dude to look at the camera.

Who knew whales were so smart?

Pnut is a pretty good picture taker!

Made it to the top of a hill.

Plan B

I did not have a Plan B today.  My plan A was to take Pnut to school, go to a spin class and get in a quick swim. Instead, I ended up at the doctor, certain that Little Dude had broken my toe.  He fell, and his knee, and his 30 pounds, landed on my toe.

An hour, 3 xrays, and a few "I can't believe you're letting your son do that" looks later and I found out it was not broken.  I was shocked and thrilled.   The doctor said I should ice and elevate my foot.  This seems like a lot of effort for a little toe.

I hobbled to the car and sat there, wondering what to do.  Broken toe or not, putting bike shoes shoes on would REALLY hurt. I spent the next hour or so pissed off that my day was not going as planned.  I wondered around, wondering what to do.  How did I get in such a funk?  My toe hurt and I spent an unexpected hour at the doctor's office. Was it really that big of a deal?  No.

I'm about to put Little Dude down for a nap.  I could use this time to be pissed off my day hasn't gone as planned or come up with Plan B.  Only one of these options would be productive.

I can't let an unexpected morning ruin my whole day.  I need to move on to Plan B.  I have to be flexible.  This will not be the last time Plan A gets screwed up.

What do you do when Plan A doesn't work?

Short Cuts

There are no short cuts!  I know this, yet I still look for them.

I am a slow cyclist.  I hate this.   I hate it! Hate it! Hate it!  Last year I asked someone how I could get faster.  Their response "Ride more."  What did I do?  Bought a kick ass bike.  I have to be faster with a faster bike, right?  Well...yes, but not fast enough.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to be slow on a kick ass bike?  Embarrassing.  Short cuts don't work.  

My goal this season is to be faster.  How am I going to do that?  I'm not sure.  Pretty sure I'll ride more.  I can't afford a faster bike.

If you have any non-shortcut ways to bike faster, I'd love to hear them.

It's Like Riding a Bike

I finally got back on my bike today!!  I had been stressing about where to ride, what roads were safe....all that stuff.  I decided just to hit the trail near Pnut and Little Dude's school. So I dropped them off and headed to the trail.
I'm so glad I did.

Here are a few lessons learned from my ride this morning.

• I LOVE my bike!

• Seattle is an amazing place. The bike trails are awesome. They go on forever. 

• Always bring tissues. I'm not a snot rocket fan and I'm getting over the flu. I had to blow my nose the whole ride. 
• Seaplanes are awesome.  I'd never get in one, but I enjoy seeing them take off and land.

• Always wear sunglasses. Dirt and bugs in your eyes suck.
• I DESPERATELY need a new saddle. I won't go into details, but it was uncomfortable. 
• I am not good at making sharp turns. Things almost got ugly. 
• Being in aerobars is not as scary if cars aren't whizzing by you.
• Seattle is doing strange things to the trees. Why are they florescent purple?

• I love my children, but alone time is nice.  Wondering if I can get Little Dude in school 5 days a week :)

Finally got to wear my Tough Chik top.  I had a jacket on during my ride. Didn't want to scare people with my toughness.

All in all, a great ride.  16ish miles. I averaged 15 mph.  Not breaking any speed records but I had so much fun.  

Sunshine!!

It might not look like much, for those of you living in warm, sunny places....but for me, this is beautiful! 60 degrees!!!  Oh how I have been waiting for warm weather.  Sure, there are clouds and rain in there, but I'll take it.  Tomorrow I am fighting some fears and getting back out on my bike.
I'm going to drop Pnut and Little Dude off at school and I'm hitting the Burke Gillman trail.  I'm excited and nervous.  Hoping to get in 25 miles.  I'll let you know how it goes.

I Can Do This!!

I'm sick of complaining.
Yes, I have a stress fracture.
NO, it is not the end of the world.
Yes, I am living 2,000 miles from all my friends and family.
Yes, this greatly limits my kid-free time, which limits my training opportunities.
No, this doesn't mean I can't train.
Yes, my family and I have a lot going on.
NO, this does not mean I can not be a good mom, wife, house cleaner, cook, taxi driver AND still train for a big race.

It just means I need to be organized.  This does not come easy to me.  I am a scatterbrain.  It is possible I have ADD.  It is difficult for me to complete a task.  I start to unload the dishwasher, get half way finished, throw in a load of laundry, forget to add soap, go back to the dishwasher, forget that I didn't finish unloading it, and load it with dirty dishes.

In my experience, most triathletes are organized.  It is hard to train for 3 sports and be a scatterbrain.  But I have a plan.  Not sure if you've picked up on this yet, but I always have a plan.  I am the queen of making plans.  Then I lose the paper I wrote the plan on and I'm back to square one.  SO, the first part of the plan is to put the plan somewhere so I don't lose it.

The rest of the plan goes something like this.

• Train for the 70.3 (minus the run for a few weeks)
• Keep up with all my family obligations
• IF I can do this for a couple months (and my shin is ok), sign up for Lake Stevens (praying it is not sold out)

I have yet to discuss this plan with Brian.  If he can skate, and has a somewhat clean house, and some sort of dinner to come home to, he will be ok.

SO, my main problem is figure out how to do it all.  Here's what I've come up with:

• Get out of bed earlier-I can either train or get house work done, while the kids are sleeping
• Stop wasting time. I'm talking to you, Facebook, Pinterest, Beginner Triathlete....
• Write down my plan for the day, the night before (put it somewhere safe)
• Plan meals and keep the freezer stocked with ready to go meals

If you have any suggestions I would LOVE to hear them.  

Seriously?

I REALLY want to do Lake Stevens 70.3.  Brian and I agreed (more or less) that I wouldn't train for a big race this season, because it is so time consuming, and it is a stress on the family.  Moving across the country and starting a new job is enough stress.

I spent some time yesterday coming up with a plan as to how I could train and keep the family from chaos.  It was a brilliant plan.  I knew Brian would be on board.  Then....life threw a wrench in my plans.  My plan for yesterday: run, spin class, clean the first floor, finish laundry, make dinner.  If I was going to spend the next 15 weeks training, without my family suffering, I would have to be able to do this.

I went for a quick run while the kids were in school.   My shin hurt some, but I thought it was just a little sore.  I was planning on taking a spin class in the evening.  Instead, I had to pick Pnut up from school because she wasn't feeling well.  I spent the afternoon trying to get her to drink so we didn't have to go to the ER for fluids.  I was still planning on taking everyone to the gym, then Pnut starting having stomach problems.  Clearly the gym was no longer an option.  I figured I'd put my bike on the trainer after the kids were in bed.  Instead, at her doctor's request, I took Pnut to the urgent care clinic to see if she was dehydrated.  Thankfully she was not, but she was diagnosed with the stomach flu.

Stomach flu means no school and no gym for the rest of the week.  In addition to Pnut's flu, I'm dealing with the fact that my stress fracture has not healed.  It hurts.  I'm really upset.  I hope my runs this week didn't set me back too far, in terms of healing.  I guess I will call the doctor later today.

How did my plan for yesterday go?
Run-check
Spin class-nope
Cleaning-I did some, not all.
Laundry-did a load, left loads in the washer and dryer and on the floor.
Dinner-everyone ate (except pnut) but I wouldn't really call it dinner.

Not the best start.  I'm unsure where to go from here.  I'm feeling defeated.

Loving April

I must say, I am happy to see March in the rear-view mirror.  Good riddance.   It was a rough end to a rough month. The last few days were filled with puke, snot, sore throats and ear infections.  I'm over March.

Hello April!  I'm saying April starts today.  I realize it's the 2nd, but I want to start the month on a high note, and yesterday wasn't that. I can ignore April Fools Day, Right?

Today was awesome.  A rare warm/sunny day in Seattle.  I took the kids to school, went to Target (alone!) then went for a short run.  It was fabulous.  To be outside, running, in the sunshine.  I seriously almost started crying, I was so happy.  I ran 2.16 miles.  Not much, but more than I had done in the last month.  I am on top of the world.  I am going to take it slow so I don't screw up my shin again, but I'm super happy to be back out  there.

I was originally going to write about the conflicted feelings I have about racing this year.  It is April 1st (or 2nd) and I have only registered for 1 race.  I usually have a full calendar by now.  Instead of getting into that now, I'm going to enjoy the sunny feeling I have today, and hope for more tomorrow.