Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Grass is Always Greener....On Facebook

I woke up feeling that I wasn't living my life.  I wasn't living in the here and now.  So of course I went looking for someone to blame.  My blame has landed on Facebook. All social media, really.

I realize this is a cop out of sorts, but here is my thinking.  I love Facebook.  I am thousands of miles from home and  Facebook makes me feel connected to friends and family that I miss.  I'm starting to realize, it also keeps me from fully embracing where I am.  It is hard to make a new life when you are still living in the past.

Another problem with social media, it shows me all the things I'm not doing.  I'm not making fabulous meals, not spending hours with my kids making beautiful crafts, not organizing my pantry...I admit, I'm guilty of posting stuff that makes it look like I'm super mom.  On those days where I get out of my pajamas and decide to make cookies with the kids, I make sure it's documented.  This is never done to make others feel bad. I assume when people post pictures of an elaborate feast they made for dinner, it's because they are proud of it.  Not that they want to make me feel bad about having leftover hot dogs and potato chips for dinner.  The problem is, there is always someone out there doing something fabulous.  Not the same person, but always someone.  So everyday it's like a snap shot of what I didn't do.

Again, I know this is me and how let things affect (or is it effect) me.  I'm not blaming anyone.

Another problem I'm having....seeing people train for races. Races I want to do.  It seems like everyone (people I really don't know and will more than likely never meet) is doing an Ironman this year.  I REALLY want to, and I know I will....someday.  Now is not my time.  My family is not in a place for me to devote that kind of time and money to a race.  I know this, and I'm ok with it.  Until I read about other people.  I start thinking, well if they can do it, why can't I?   There is a laundry list of why I can't yet somehow I feel inferior because others can.  I know it's ridiculous. It's just where my head is right now.

My solution?  I could get off Facebook and Daily Mile.  I could stop reading blogs.  Realistically, I know that's not going to happen.  I am going to try to be more in the moment, less in my head.  Less keeping up with the Joneses (or is it Jones'?) and more being the best me.    Hopefully that will work out.


  1. I think we all feel this way!! It's a tough one, especially for people like you and me who live thousands of miles away from "home". Like you, it's how I stay connected too, but it starts to piss me off just the same when I see certain things posted. And with really zero races on my schedule this year, I feel like a piece of poo for not having a training plan...even though it makes NO difference to anyone but myself. I need to knock it off and like you said - live in the moment and not worry about every Tom, Dick and Harry out there ;)

  2. I signed up for one in June that year because of that social pressure (not only friends/people I don't know, but the OH as well... because he wants me to "be an ironman too"...)
    I am not ready. I am going to hate myself on the day... I might not even finish.

    But I'll give it my best for this time. And I probably won't ever do another one.
    I would prefer to wait and give it everything when I am healthy, etc etc but it's a bit late for that now.

    You have your whole life.
    But you also don't want to look back and get a case of the "shouldas" if something does happen and you never complete it. Catch 22, right?

    1. Hopefully it will be better than you're expecting!!
      I'm hoping once my kids are a little older, it will be easier. But who knows. There probably isn't going to be a "perfect" time.

  3. You have the right mind set with the sentence

    " It seems like everyone (people I really don't know and will more than likely never meet) is doing an Ironman this year. I REALLY want to, and I know I will....someday. Now is not my time."

    2 years ago, EVERYONE I knew was doing an ironman, I felt I should be doing one too, BUT I wasnt ready for it, but since the social pressure got to me, I attempted to train for one and.... I FAILED, miserably. I ended up hating triathlons, I hated myself, I was ready to leave the sport for good. The point is, I was not ready for it. If one is to race an ironman, they need to do it for the right reasons, for themselves, not because others are doing it. Obviously I didnt quit the sport, but I was really, really close, Last year, knowing full well I was not going to do an Ironman, I had a great season, now, this year, I feel ready to make my attempt at it.

    The race is not the tough part, it is the grind of the training, every weekend, something long, for weeks on end, it is purely a grind, and you have to want to do this for yourself to have the best chance of success.

    You are light years ahead of the game by knowing that your time will come and not because someone else is doing it.