This is it!

Tomorrow I head for Boise!  I'm super excited, and nervous.  I know I'm ready, but still feel unprepared.  Maybe it's because I'm not packed, I don't know how to take my bike apart, and I'm unsure how I'm getting to the airport.  Or maybe it's because I haven't done any exercise in at least 5 days.  Either way, I'm headed to the airport, bright and early tomorrow.  Ready or not.

These past few weeks have kind of put my race in perspective.  Pnut hasn't slept through the night in 2 months.  That's not entirely true. There was one night, when I was in Atlanta.  Since she hasn't slept, I haven't slept.  This has caught up with me recently.  I'm exhausted.  To tired to workout.  Too tired to eat (except brownies).  Really even too tired to speak.  I'm not sure I've formed a complete sentence in the last week.

While I'm excited about the race, and want to do well, it's one small day (6 1/2 half hours if all goes well) in my life.  By the time I get home Sunday, it will be back to doctors, sleeping pills and just trying to make it through the day.  I know that's dramatic. One day I'll look back and realize it wasn't as nightmarish as I'm making it out to be.  But now, in the middle of it, there is nothing else.

That said...I'm going to take these few days and make the most of them.  I'm going to enjoy some "me" time. I'm going to race my heart out, knowing Brian is holding down the fort.  Knowing I'm well trained.  Knowing I can do this.

Here's to being awesome!!!  I'm number 578 if you want to track me!

2 Weeks Left!!

Two weeks from right now, I'll (hopefully) be on the run in Boise.  I'm finally starting to get excited.  I'm still nervous and wonder if I've done enough to prepare.  I try to look back at what I did last year and compare. I'm pretty sure I didn't feel totally prepared last year either.

I am confident I can finish the race.  I'm confident I can improve on last year.  Is there really anything else I need to do?  I have time goals in my head.  Goals that are probably pipe dreams, but goals none the less.

Here is what I'm hoping for.  Again, a little pie in the sky, but worth trying for.

Swim-38:00 (2 minutes faster than last year)
Bike-3:25:00 (18 minutes faster than last year)
Run-2:15:00 (25 minutes faster than last year)

That would get me around a 6:20:00 race.  I'd be SUPER happy with that.  Last year my nutrition (or lack of nutrition) killed me.  I feel like I'm on top of it this year.  I've learned my lesson after the bag of goo from last year.

This is what happens when you leave chocolate protein bars on your bike for a few hours.

Now that my super secret goals are out there for everyone to see, I'm reminded of this quote.  I'm thinking about taping it to my bike :)

Swim/Bike/Run for Fun

On Saturday I wrote this.  A little pity party I was having for myself.  Well, a couple days later and not much has changed.  Yesterday I was miserable.  I was in one of those moods where at any other time, a run (or bike or swim) would have made me feel better.  But I couldn't do it.  The things I used to go to for stress relief have become stressful.  They have become chores.

Tomorrow I have a 3.5 hour bike.  Most people (who like to bike) would be stoked if they could ride 3 hours on a Tuesday morning.  I should be stoked.  My friend Lindsay agreed to ride with me for part of it.  A bike ride with a friend should be exciting!  I shouldn't be dreading it.  But I am.  I'm worried about my tired legs.  I'm worried it will be cold.  Worried it will rain.....blah blah blah.

I know this is to be expected.  People get tired.  Training becomes a chore.  I'm going to try my best to change my attitude about this ride.  I'm going to focus on the good.

• I am able to ride my bike when most people are working.  
• I have the physical ability to ride my bike 3.5 hours.  
• I have a friend to ride with.  
• There is only a 30% chance of rain.  
• This is my last long ride until Boise.
• It's a chance for an adventure!

Panic and Doubt

Boise is 5 weeks from today.  At this very moment, I don't even want to race.  I'm so tired and emotionally drained.  This week and next week are my biggest training weeks.  I only have 2 more workouts this week, so really it's just one more week.  But I'm exhausted.  I don't know why I'm even doing this.  I want to curl up and cry.

Pnut hasn't slept in over 3 weeks.  Little Dude has been in my bed or needed me to sleep with him for what seems like forever.  Brian is crazy busy with work.  Why aren't I focusing on these things?  Why am I spending 12 hours a week doing things that leave me with nothing left for my family?  Why didn't I spend 3 and a half hours riding my bike instead of doing laundry or vacuuming the floors?  Maybe if I took a nap, I'd be able to deal with the kids up all night.

I realize I'm being a bit dramatic.  I know this is normal(ish).  Last May I wrote this post.  I guess this is just what happens 5 weeks out.  On the bright side, I'm not injured.  Laundry, dirty floors, and needy kids will still be here in June.  I've come this far.  I know I will keep going.

55 Miles

Here are a few reflections from my 55 mile ride today:

• Riding a bike is fun
• I love the sun
• Riding a bike in the sun increases the fun of biking
• I need new bike shorts
• If it's sunny, you should wear sunscreen 
• If it's a beautiful day, chances are you won't be alone on the trail
• Around mile 48, I wanted to punch people in the face (I was hot and tired and hungry)
• A lot of people roller blade
• I need new bike shorts
• I have met some great people out here (Lindsay who rode the last 25 miles with me (I didn't want to punch her in the face), and Jennifer who picked Little Dude up from school because my bike took longer than expected...to name a couple)
• Riding 55 miles in the sun will cause me to be useless for the rest of the day
• Did I mention I need new bike shorts?

Important Things

Sometimes I lose track of what's really important in my life.  This time of year I get so focused on my training schedule, I forget it shouldn't always be my top priority.  Sure, it's more important than laundry, making beds, doing dishes......but there are other things that should come before it.

I blew off my training yesterday and today, and I don't feel one bit guilty.  These two days have made it clear how, although training is important to me, there are many things that are more important.

Yesterday Brian had the day off.  I had a run and a swim on my training schedule.  I decided some alone time with Brian was more important that training.   We had a great day.  A lunch date and movies on the sofa.  I know, we're wild and crazy.

Today I had a run/swim (moved it over from yesterday).  Instead, I ran errands so I could donate food to a friend who is cooking for the rescue workers at the Oso mudslide.  Then I volunteered at Pnut's school.  I'm pretty certain both of those things are more important than training.

I could have done something after I got the kids from school, but we had pizza and game night.  Again, family time is more important than training.

I'll be back at it tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to pretend I'm Darth Vader and let Little Dude kill me with his light saber.

11 weeks to go

I haven't been writing much recently.  No time, no energy, nothing of any importance to write about.  Then this morning I realized I have 11 weeks until Boise.  I started thinking about how unprepared I'm feeling. Then I went back to my blog posts from last year.  It made me feel better knowing I had the same fears last year.  SO....I decided I'd start writing again.  Not because there is anything exciting to say, but so I will be able to look back next year.

Up until this week, my training has been pretty good. I've missed some days here and there, but overall I've been pretty consistent (compared to last year).  My swims have definitely been lacking.  I've started to do yoga and Pilates one a week and swimming has taken the hit.  I will get back into it soon....I hope.

My running has improved over last year.  I've been doing speed workouts once a week. I think they are really helping.  I'm also enjoying my long runs more.  Hopefully this is a good sign for Portland.

I'm feeling OK on my bike.  So far all my "rides" have been on the trainer.  I guess it's to be expected in Seattle, in March.  Hopefully I will get outside soon.

I'm already stressing about Spring Break.  I'm going to Phoenix with the kids. Super excited to be in the warm sun and spend the days by the pool, but with Brian working all day, I won't have much time to do any training.  I'm hoping I can get in a couple runs.

After Spring Break I'll have 7 weeks.  Plenty of time....right??

Here's how the week went-

Swim-0
Bike- 61 miles
Run- 11 miles (once I do my 7 miles this morning)